07-17-2017, 10:45 PM
Publishing, per se, shouldn't be equated with suffering. When I get sick, though, it tends to act as an interest killer, and not just for the magazine. Then, I begin to drift.
Getting back to it seems to be a long slow boat ride to China.
There's other things that impact it, too. I did renew the domain name for this website recently, so I suspect that I'm not quite done with all things PBM-related - not yet, anyway. The problem isn't PBM. The problem is me. I've tried replacing me, before, but even that didn't work out. Part of it probably just comes with age. Personal life tends to take priority, and there's no real way around that, simply because I won't allow there to be. Also, I sometimes feel as though I am fighting the wind. There is still much resistance within the industry to change, and even beyond that, people in the industry have others things, other priorities, and there's a cumulative effect to it all, I suppose. Not trying to point the finger of blame so much as just trying to give a degree of insight.
It isn't hard to reignite my spark of interest, where play by mail is concerned. The hard part lies in maintaining momentum, once a spark occurs. I just figure that there's got to be a better way, and while there are numerous individual things - individual concepts - that I think have panned out, some key ingredient is still missing. There's a gap, a void, and I honestly don't know if I can fill it.
The whole publication process reminds me of a roller coaster ride. Lots of twists and turns and ups and downs. Somehow or other, though, I manage to keep steering the ride off the tracks. There has to be a better way. Obviously, staying focused and keeping one's head out of one's ass has all of the makings of a good start, but while there is certainly some interest in the magazine being published on the part of our readership, it seems to come more from people that I don't know and have never interacted with than with people already in established PBM circles playing currently. That latter part is neither here nor there, and I could simply be reading the signs all wrong. Maybe I simply haven't been patient enough, or maybe with all of the lurching from publishing to not publishing, the clock keeps getting reset back to zero, which doesn't allow much in the way of real progress to be made.
These days, everyone's on their phones, it seems. Maybe a PDF magazine was the wrong route to go. I don't even use a smart phone, so maybe I have fallen off the techno bridge and am simply behind the times too much to make the magazine relevant. Or maybe it's just me that isn't relevant, and it has nothing to do with the magazine, at all.
Maybe the magazine is simply too slow paced. The slowest part of the equation is me, though. I'm not looking for sympathy nor praise. Feel free to offer up some guidance - or even some criticism. These days, if the magazine doesn't publish, or any magazine for that matter, what of it? I am still inclined to think that having a PBM magazine of some kind out there is beneficial to play by mail as a whole. It doesn't have to be Suspense & Decision, though, but there isn't really another one around currently, unless I'm in the dark on that. But, that's a separate issue from whether people need - or even want - a PBM magazine in the first place.
Having a PBM magazine in PDF format allows for people to print a copy and pass it along to someone who isn't really into the online realm, but realistically speaking, an awful lot of people are online, now. No one passes it out at conventions, even when it does publish. Most PBM companies don't even mention it on their websites. Some do, some don't. Of course, PBM company websites are exactly enduring blistering site visitation rates, as far as I am aware, so does that aspect of the whole raising awareness mantra even really matter?
When others lose interest, it probably negatively impacts my own interest, and when I lose interest, it probably negatively impacts other people's interest. It's not PBM in which I lose interest, though. It's various things associated with the magazine that my interest wanes in, at times. And trying to even play in a PBM game - the amount of time in a day has never changed, and yet if I try to play in games, it cuts into my free time available to tinkering with publication duties. But, playing some PBM games seems to me to be the most likely way for me to cause my own interest in the hobby to surge.
The magazine is an extension of my hobby interest in play by mail gaming. There really isn't any likely way for me to make it more than that - and that, I think, is a crucial matter. Yet, publishing a magazine about PBM gaming while continually fore going playing in any PBM games really makes me question my sanity, at times.
Or maybe I'm not fully persuaded that the magazine is making a real difference. Am I clueless, in this regard?
Somebody out there clue me in, or cuss me out, or give me some guidance, or digitally assess things and point me in the right direction.
If we've all got plenty to keep us busy - too busy, then why publish? If the magazine has helped PBM or PBeM gaming, then tell me how it has helped. If you will be saddened by Suspense & Decision's departure, then tell me why that is so.
Enlighten me.
Getting back to it seems to be a long slow boat ride to China.
There's other things that impact it, too. I did renew the domain name for this website recently, so I suspect that I'm not quite done with all things PBM-related - not yet, anyway. The problem isn't PBM. The problem is me. I've tried replacing me, before, but even that didn't work out. Part of it probably just comes with age. Personal life tends to take priority, and there's no real way around that, simply because I won't allow there to be. Also, I sometimes feel as though I am fighting the wind. There is still much resistance within the industry to change, and even beyond that, people in the industry have others things, other priorities, and there's a cumulative effect to it all, I suppose. Not trying to point the finger of blame so much as just trying to give a degree of insight.
It isn't hard to reignite my spark of interest, where play by mail is concerned. The hard part lies in maintaining momentum, once a spark occurs. I just figure that there's got to be a better way, and while there are numerous individual things - individual concepts - that I think have panned out, some key ingredient is still missing. There's a gap, a void, and I honestly don't know if I can fill it.
The whole publication process reminds me of a roller coaster ride. Lots of twists and turns and ups and downs. Somehow or other, though, I manage to keep steering the ride off the tracks. There has to be a better way. Obviously, staying focused and keeping one's head out of one's ass has all of the makings of a good start, but while there is certainly some interest in the magazine being published on the part of our readership, it seems to come more from people that I don't know and have never interacted with than with people already in established PBM circles playing currently. That latter part is neither here nor there, and I could simply be reading the signs all wrong. Maybe I simply haven't been patient enough, or maybe with all of the lurching from publishing to not publishing, the clock keeps getting reset back to zero, which doesn't allow much in the way of real progress to be made.
These days, everyone's on their phones, it seems. Maybe a PDF magazine was the wrong route to go. I don't even use a smart phone, so maybe I have fallen off the techno bridge and am simply behind the times too much to make the magazine relevant. Or maybe it's just me that isn't relevant, and it has nothing to do with the magazine, at all.
Maybe the magazine is simply too slow paced. The slowest part of the equation is me, though. I'm not looking for sympathy nor praise. Feel free to offer up some guidance - or even some criticism. These days, if the magazine doesn't publish, or any magazine for that matter, what of it? I am still inclined to think that having a PBM magazine of some kind out there is beneficial to play by mail as a whole. It doesn't have to be Suspense & Decision, though, but there isn't really another one around currently, unless I'm in the dark on that. But, that's a separate issue from whether people need - or even want - a PBM magazine in the first place.
Having a PBM magazine in PDF format allows for people to print a copy and pass it along to someone who isn't really into the online realm, but realistically speaking, an awful lot of people are online, now. No one passes it out at conventions, even when it does publish. Most PBM companies don't even mention it on their websites. Some do, some don't. Of course, PBM company websites are exactly enduring blistering site visitation rates, as far as I am aware, so does that aspect of the whole raising awareness mantra even really matter?
When others lose interest, it probably negatively impacts my own interest, and when I lose interest, it probably negatively impacts other people's interest. It's not PBM in which I lose interest, though. It's various things associated with the magazine that my interest wanes in, at times. And trying to even play in a PBM game - the amount of time in a day has never changed, and yet if I try to play in games, it cuts into my free time available to tinkering with publication duties. But, playing some PBM games seems to me to be the most likely way for me to cause my own interest in the hobby to surge.
The magazine is an extension of my hobby interest in play by mail gaming. There really isn't any likely way for me to make it more than that - and that, I think, is a crucial matter. Yet, publishing a magazine about PBM gaming while continually fore going playing in any PBM games really makes me question my sanity, at times.
Or maybe I'm not fully persuaded that the magazine is making a real difference. Am I clueless, in this regard?
Somebody out there clue me in, or cuss me out, or give me some guidance, or digitally assess things and point me in the right direction.
If we've all got plenty to keep us busy - too busy, then why publish? If the magazine has helped PBM or PBeM gaming, then tell me how it has helped. If you will be saddened by Suspense & Decision's departure, then tell me why that is so.
Enlighten me.