The Man in the Mirror of Play By Mail

[Angerak]

"Cohorts" looks very interesting...

Thank you very much.  I'm very excited about getting it out to the public.  I've received some very positive feedback on the game's design, even in it's current state of readiness.

[Hatch]

Hey Grim,

Sorry I haven't stopped by in a while, but I've enjoyed reading your newsletters. I'd say just take as long of a break as you need and enjoy yourself. You don't owe anyone anything and I appreciate what you've done up to this point.

Hatch

[Davin]

Charles, I think you've been doing a wonderful job, even with your occasional absences!  Your support of the PBM industry is needed and appreciated.  I've long wished that I'd been able to contribute more to the preservation of the PBM genre, and S&D in particular, but life just doesn't allow me that luxury.  I've contributed to S&D as much as I'm able (and I'll try to send you another article if you'll be publishing another issue), but there's little more I can manage at this time.

Still, the magazine remains important for me as well as other people -- don't just assume that nobody cares.  Just because I haven't complained when it takes a break, that's out of concern for you rather than because I don't want to see more of it.  I always want to see more of it, both as a reader and as a game company.  (Besides, how else am I going to advertise if I don't have S&D??)

Even though the PBM industry is a bare breath of what it once was, those of us still in the field really need a place to congregate and share and promote the available games.  S&D and the forum are really the only options we've got.  I, for one, don't want to see PBM slide down to extinction for lack of our ability to connect, even though we live in the age of the Internet.

Of course you need to attend to your own health and interests first, but if those interests continue to run along PBM lines then I think that the web site and/or magazine could still make good adjuncts to those interests.  Of course, time is required for that, as we've all discussed at length before, so if you just don't have time then nobody can manufacture any extra for you.

No one asks for or expects certainty, in anything.  The best that each of us can do is just taking that one more step, and one more again, until our feet fail to move.  Often, we find ourselves strolling down that path after taking that "next step" again and again, even though there will certainly be mudholes to be circumvented along the way.  Life and progress is never easy, but we can decide to deal with it anyway if that's what we really want.  It's only a chore if you don't want to do it, but it will always be a roller coaster ride one way or the other and that can be thrilling as well as frightening.

It's obvious from your posts that you're in a sad place, and such places are always difficult to escape from.  But if escape does occur eventually (and it often does, over time), you may then regret any irreversible decisions that were made while you were so down.  Perhaps it's best to just leave the status "quo" until such time as you feel like doing something pro-active again (even if it's in the opposite direction) rather than just "giving up"?

Maybe it would help if you could concentrate on just playing a little -- just one game to ignite that spark again.  Perhaps that would revive your enjoyment of gaming, at least, and possibilities might grow from that.  I know that I have a similar reaction.  I go for long periods without making time to play myself, but when someone talks me into spending that time for another round I really enjoy myself and get excited about it all again and get very disappointed whenever it is interrupted.

BTW, mirrors aren't any fun to stare into.  It usually works out better to be looking outward than inward.  Try a window, instead.

Here's hoping you can keep your spirit alive, whatever you do with it, and that we all have a way we can share our hobby with one another as well.

[Participant-Observer]

Charles,

I must admit that I've not been as active here as I would have liked. I've been in library school in addition to working a full-time job. I certainly understand how difficult it is to get a 'zine out -- I've been struggling to get the first issue of my (single-authored) print SF games 'zine out for a while.

Have you considered:

• reducing the frequency of scheduled publication? I think that every other month, quarterly, or even semi-annually would be more than acceptable to most of your readers.
  
• reducing the page? I'm not surprised that you find getting S&D out the door a strain. Each issue is MASSIVE. Again, I suspect that even if each issue were to weigh in at half the page count (or even a quarter), your readers would be delighted to see it continue.
  

I have enjoyed S&D very much. Thank you so much for putting it together, over the last few years.

As for actually playing PBMs and PBeMs: Although I'm only playing one PB(e)M game currently (FBI's Rift Lords), I have tried Phoenix: Beyond the Stellar Empire, and there are a couple of games that I'm on the edge of trying (now that my schedule's freed up a bit) that I don't think that I'd have encountered without S&D.

I'm in the RL-2 game (turns every two weeks) which I've found pretty manageable. The pace of PBtSE was a little too much for me (especially taking into account the in-character message board activity -- the community is supportive and friendly, however). The other games that I might join have weekly or every other week schedules.

[Participant-Observer]

Incidentally, now that I have more some free time, I've started "fan" writing more frequently. I'm finally working on finishing my SF games 'zine (which has a PBM column) and have started writing a contribution for Alarums & Excursions.

If you'd be interested in my reflections on my personal PBM/ PBeM journey and what S&D has meant to me for your next issue, let me know and gimme a deadline.

[ixnay]

Grim!

Your singular achievement -- Suspense & Decision and this site -- has echoed across time and space in ways you can't possibly know. Your crabby enthusiasm and furious determination drove a herd of moribund cats across the prairie for the first time in a millennium. For the first time in ages, it was possible to know that a PBM space still *exists*. We could reprise some of the finest memories of our youth by tearing into a new issue of The Magazine That Demanded To Be Read the very instant it came into our grubby paws. I felt that way when I first subscribed to The Dragon, back in the late 70s. And in The Dragon I came across an article on Tribes of Crane, along with a host of cryptic ads for some mysterious and unfathomable games. The same eager anticipation accompanied each turn in every PBM game I then joined -- and in each turn I personally processed in my own single attempt at being a moderator.

I went on to compose a few issues of a tiny zine for my personal gaming buddies -- Super Stud. The greatest of our gaming glory days were already behind us, but I wanted to do something to help maintain our little crowd as we all moved on into jobs, apartments, wives, and children. I still have a handful of old Super Studs in my archive. My tiny little subscriber base and the fact that we drifted out of regular gaming anyway does nothing to diminish the warm glow I get whenever I take a peek at them -- a sense of pride in creation, warm memories of friendships and high amusement, and the community of people who knew me and liked what I liked.

Seeing S&D enter publication was something like finding out that your favorite band from your college days had just come out with a new album, that the album did not suck, and that in fact the songs, the album, and the band still rocked. Hard.

Under the morbid glare of mostly-solo computer gaming, I hadn't really written anything game-related after college until S&D. Your efforts inspired me to contribute. There have been others erecting blogs or small fan-sites for what ghosts of PBM still remained. But most were flat and quickly aborted. What you did was *execute*. You made a plan, you drove yourself to get it done, and you created something big and meaningful for our curious hobby. Indeed, S&D has already taken its rightful place next to the other giants of PBM periodicals, like Flagship, Nuts & Bolts, and Gaming Universal. Every issue is a collector's rare lucky find.

It's been taking me a while, but I have been putting together my own zine project (having first previewed the idea here on this forum some time ago). I've been focused on the higher conceptual context and operational framework, but have recently started drafting "actual content" for the inaugural issue of PROG. It will mirror S&D's online PDF format -- a print magazine for a digital age -- because I see the benefits of giving things the pulse of regular deadlines. You showed us that. Having a loose, unmoderated forum can help a community, but it doesn't do much in terms of good quality content. Having a publishing event means that all the content within has gone through a number of gatekeepers, putting it all well above most forum posts or blog entries.

And a magazine format provides a common watering hole where the entire community can gather and mingle. The articles are red meat for the fans, to be sure, but for readers there is value not just in reading the articles, but in knowing what everyone else is reading.

I've had my writing-moments. I've also had dry spells and periods where I was either too busy or too drained by other responsibilities to muster up the energy to push anything new out. I can do better, and indeed the older I get the more I feel like I MUST get back into the thick of it. When we *create* something -- a magazine, a game, a band, or a cub scout campfire skit -- that's when our human spirit really truly lights up. These PBM games are small in the big picture of our lives, and our passion for them can well and truly be called silly. But the enthusiasm we share for them and the buzz we get from playing, reading, and writing -- these are all valid, important, and not at all trivial.

So thank you, Charles, for your magnificent magazine, for the memories it has created, and for the future it has inspired. Really, thanks.

[GrimFinger]

OK, so I sent out a mailer, today, an e-mail to PlayByMail.Net forum users. As usual, this e-mail contains some typos. Notable ones include:

1. Or you may just be one of those who just plain doesn't count.

. . .should be. . .

Or you may just be one of those who just plain doesn't care.


2.  And as is so often the case, hope blooms anew because it some of you out there are the ones sowing it with your words and your deeds and your perseverence. 

. . .should be. . .

 And as is so often the case, hope blooms anew, because it is some of you out there that are the ones sowing it with your words and your deeds and your perseverance.



So, what we are looking at, going forward from this point in time?

Some semblance of regularity in e-mail mailings from myself to registered forum users, replete with ramblings and links, some semblance of regularity in forum postings by myself (and hopefully, others as well), and some semblance of regularity in the publication of Suspense & Decision magazine. Specific dates will take a back seat to regularity.

For the magazine, once Issue #17 is behind us (Issue #17 is the next issue, the one that is pending, right now), the rule of thumb that I will try to go by will be that each subsequent issue will encompass three articles written by others (not counting anything that I contribute, which will vary from issue to issue as my whim and my desires dictates). The fourth and subsequent articles submitted by others will be used to fill the pages of future issues. The Rule of Three will facilitate regularity in the publication of future issues. That's as the Eye of Charles sees things, currently, at this particular instant in time. I won't be aiming for more than three articles per issue, authored by other individuals. One point of focus will be to grow the issue count, at the expense of article-per-issue count.

The immediate goal will be to have Issue #17 out the door and in the hands of our magazine's readership by the end of the current month (July 2017) or by the first day of the next month (August 1st). Either date will serve the basic purpose, I think.

One area that I could use some help with would be with getting the word out, when each new issue publishes. In layman's terms and in plain English, what that means is that I will need a few people willing to commit to posting in select forums across the Internet, so that non-PlayByMail.Net-forum members will be able to gain awareness of the fact that a new issue has recently published. This will save me some time that I can reallocate to other tasks, and it will also inject the benefit of participation by third parties into the equation. I ask each of you to consider a willingness to participate in this small measure. A little effort by you, in this regard, will go a long way, I think, to keeping me fully participating in rolling the whole big ball of PBM wax along.

Think it over, and feel free to post feedback, here.

[GrimFinger]

If you'd be interested in my reflections on my personal PBM/ PBeM journey and what S&D has meant to me for your next issue, let me know and gimme a deadline.

Interested. Send it, just as soon as you finish it. That's your deadline. We'll include it in Issue #17 or Issue #18.

[Participant-Observer]

If you'd be interested in my reflections on my personal PBM/ PBeM journey and what S&D has meant to me for your next issue, let me know and gimme a deadline.

Interested. Send it, just as soon as you finish it. That's your deadline. We'll include it in Issue #17 or Issue #18.

On it, boss.

(Quick questions: Preferred formats for submissions? I seem to be unable to find guidelines. Also: non-USAian spellings OK? I can go with standard American English rather UK English, if you'd prefer. )

[GrimFinger]

The immediate goal will be to have Issue #17 out the door and in the hands of our magazine's readership by the end of the current month (July 2017) or by the first day of the next month (August 1st). Either date will serve the basic purpose, I think.

Well, we didn't make that goal, either - but, at least the ball is moving down the production track, again.